


livin' it up

by theredtailedhawkwithjewelsforeyes



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Elf Jaskier, M/M, Past Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, jask and yen ganging up against geralt, jaskier and yennefer sometimes bypass their rivalry and sometimes do not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:47:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22384342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theredtailedhawkwithjewelsforeyes/pseuds/theredtailedhawkwithjewelsforeyes
Summary: “So it’s not just me, then.”“No,” Jaskier says, suddenly heartfelt and dramatic like he shouldn’t be with fucking Yennefer, evil witch queen- except, like. Come on. Making fun of Geralt is practically his only passion. “No, it’s- it’s everyone. One time I saw him try to say something heartfelt and I swear he almost choked on his own tongue.”“Will you two,” Geralt calls ineffectively- the werewolf takes its chance, but is immediately flung away with a swing of his sword. “please stop? I can hear you.”
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 164
Kudos: 2445
Collections: Abby's Witcher Collection, Well that was delightful





	livin' it up

**Author's Note:**

> this is very short but it made me laugh the entire time i was writing it 
> 
> title from livin' it up on top from hadestown because i have not one single idea of what to name this and im listening to that rn

“You’ve known him longer than I have,” says Yennefer- they’re both standing idly by the treeline, watching Geralt grunt and hack at a werewolf that seems unwilling to die. “Is he always, you know-” 

Jaskier has his arms crossed defensively over his chest, eyes turned firmly away, but the tight set to his shoulders evens out just a little as he lets loose with a long, gusty sigh. “A locked treasure chest with fifteen other locked treasure chests inside it?”    
  
“A nesting doll of repression,” Yennefer agrees. Jaskier snorts. 

“A pile of buried traumas with a sword.” 

Yennefer laughs- it’s hardly lady-like, and it makes Jaskier steal a startled glance over at her. “So it’s not just me, then.” 

“ _ No _ ,” he says, suddenly heartfelt and dramatic like he shouldn’t be with fucking Yennefer, evil witch queen- except, like. Come on. Making fun of Geralt is practically his only passion. “No, it’s- it’s everyone. One time I saw him try to say something heartfelt and I swear he almost choked on his own tongue.” 

“Will you two,” Geralt calls ineffectively- the werewolf takes its chance, but is immediately flung away with a swing of his sword. “please stop? I can hear you.” 

“One time he took two hours to tell me he cared about me.” 

“It took ten years for him to admit I’m his friend!” Yennefer winces. Jaskier nods, emphatically. “Ten years, and who’s there scrubbing drowner gut’s from his hair? Who’s there writing songs about him?” 

“I can hear you,” Geralt repeats. They both ignore him. 

“He talks to his horse, do you know that?” Yennefer arches a perfect eyebrow, and Jaskier nods again. “Yeah, he- sometimes he tells Roach that I’m brave.” 

“The horse,” Yennefer repeats. 

“The horse,” Jaskier agrees. 

Geralt groans. “Please.” 

“Once I asked him what he thought of my dress and he grunted and rode to a completely different town.” 

Jaskier laughs, delighted- he’s lost the tension in his posture and is lounging as usual. Sure, Yennefer could kill him with a flick of her fingers, but he’s had a little while to come to terms with that. “Do you know,” he says, lowering his voice, “that he still thinks I’m human?” 

“How,” asks Yennefer. Jaskier shrugs. 

“Dunno.” 

  
The witch looks thoughtfully over at the Witcher for a long moment- the werewolf is currently running desperate circles around the clearing, Geralt stock-still in the center. Jaskier sits down on a fallen log, crossing his legs in front of him. “We shared, like, fifty baths before he finally kissed me.” 

“We shared one bath,” Yennefer says smugly, dropping down beside him. Jaskier glares, mouth opening in shocked offense. 

“That- that’s not- it’s different and you know it!” 

“Jaskier,” Geralt snaps, helplessly. “Yen.” 

“It’s different because I have a backbone,” Yennefer agrees. He clutches at his heart, moving haughtily to the ground. 

“We’re done commiserating if you’re just- if you’re just going to be  _ rude _ .” 

“You’re done commiserating anyway,” Geralt informs the both of them, dropping the corpse between them as if to prove a point. Jaskier makes a startled sound of disgust, scrambling backwards, and Yennefer just arches her eyebrow again. 

“What a surprise,” she drawls. “We were just talking about you.” 

He makes a face that’s half a smirk and half a grimace, and begins to disassemble the werewolf right in front of Jaskier’s face presumably to prove a point. Jaskier, wisely, removes himself from the situation instead of smacking him, and hoists himself into a tree. 

“It’s not my fault you can’t say you love me,” he says, tragically, and swings upside down from his knees to prove his own point of  _ he’s a free spirit and he’s unbothered by monster guts _ . His lute is, tragically, too far for him to reach. “Although, I- I mean, it has to be said, it’s rather- I think we should figure out a code for it.” 

“You looked very dashing slicing that werewolf to bits,” Yennefer says sweetly. Geralt grunts, not looking up from where he’s skinning the wolf, and Jaskier sighs. 

“He’s finished. He’s had enough. We’ve pushed him too far. We-” 

“Shut up, bard,” both of them say in unison. 

“And for all I do for you,” he mutters. Yennefer stands gracefully, brushes off her dress. 

“Jaskier’s an elf,” she says, and then she vanishes into one of her stupid portals and they’re both left gaping after her. 

There’s a long silence. 

“Godsdamned witches,” he mutters, and then: “I’m only part elf.” 

“You’re a fucking  _ what _ ?” 

**Author's Note:**

> prompt from spinanotherstory: "Jaskier and Yennefer bonding over Geralt being an emotionally stunted dumbass" THIS IS SHORT but just know i love u 
> 
> yennefers like i think we're getting along a little TOO well. let me throw a wrench in the works but geralts just like oh sick :) 
> 
> if u liked this pls send me an ask or a prompt on tumblr at redjewelsforeyes.tumblr.com!! also if u liked this please leave a comment i will love u forever
> 
> ALSO IM sorry again this is so short


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